Questioning Hosts
by Explosive Waffles
Summary: With this fanfic YOU get to ask the questions! You get to be Bisco Hatori and make the hosts do whateva YOU want! Review now! Round 3 up!
1. Introductions!

**Questioning Hosts Chapter 1**

****Waffle: Hey, this Waffles! This is where you readers and others ask Ouran questions!

People you can ask:

Tamaki

Haruhi

Hikaru

Kaoru

Kyoya

Mori

Honey

Renge

Nekozawa

Belzelnoff, did I spell right? For crack questions only

Ranka/Ryoji, Crack only plz.

Ok! Now start clicking that review button! You know you want to...


	2. Round 1!

**Questioning Hosts Round 1!  
**

Waffle: Hey, this is Waffle and this is the official first round! First, I'd like to introduce my new co-host, Nitrogirl!

Nitro: Hi! *Looks over the hosts and lands on Hikaru blushes* (Whispers) H...H-Hikaru...

Hikaru: *blushes at her beautiful appearance*

Waffle: *Looks at Nitro and Hikaru constantly, whistles* Ooooh, we got a couple pairing already?! That should be in the Guinness World Record Book for 2011. Anyway, lemme check if everyone's here... *looks at everyone and eyes land on Kaoru. Blushes* (Whispers) Kaoru, my love...

Nitro: What'd you say?!

Waffle: Shut up! So, skipping the introductions for the hosts let's get started with some dares! We didn't have so much, so review you idiots! We have the first 6 from Nitro.

1. Tamaki, when will you finally admit feelings for Haruhi?! True, it is getting a little annoying.

Tamaki: ........................................You have no right to make me answer such a question!

Waffle and Nitro: If you don't answer we will shank you with a screwdriver!

Tamaki: *cowering in fear* Okay, okay! *says this quietly enough for only Waffle and Nitro to hear* I was going to surprise her tomorrow with a sapphire ring so shut up! And don't tell her anything I said!

Waffle: Hey Haruhi, come over!

Haruhi: What?

Waffle: Tomorrow Tama's going to confezzx tuw yuii wwith aww syappphir rwing! *couldn't speak clearly because Tamaki cover her mouth*

Haruhi: Okay...?

Waffle: Ugh! Your hand tastes like... pigeons?

Nitro: *sweatdrops* How would you know how a pigeon tastes like?

Waffle: Uhhhhh.... Awkward silence! Soooooo~ anyway...

2. Honey-sempai, what would you do if you lost Usa-chan/ Bunny-Bun?

Honey: Well... I would cry and cry and cry! Plus, Takashi would help me look, right Takashi?

Mori: Ah.

Waffle: Well, okay..?

3. Hey, Hikaru and Kaoru, do you guys get tired of doing your Hitachiincest act?

Twins: Of course not!

Kaoru: But, brother are you saying this because you don't want to hurt my feelings?

Hikaru: Of course not Kaoru! *pulls Kaoru closely* I simply adore this act- wait, no, to me it's more than an act!

Kaoru: Hikaru...

Hikaru: Kaoru...

*Fangirls come out nowhere and start blushing and are wearing t-shirts that said, "Hitachiincest!" Where did they get those?

Then everyone saw that there was Renge yelling, "Get your Hitachiincest t-shirt! Only a lucky girl gets one with the twins' face on it! Limited edition!"

Waffle: Guess I'm going in. Cherry, Pastry, and Tropic Acorns... if you are watching this... Cherry write my will. I don't trust those back-stabbing son of a bit***s! *Gets whip out of nowhere* I say back you! Back! Get out! I whip your a$$! *Starts whipping fangirls* Hey, you have no exception! Don't make me bring out my water gun! You'll have water in your head for a millennium!

_Ten Minutes Later!_

Waffle: *huffing and puffing* Guess that answers your question, Nitro.

Nitro: Yeah, and it also makes a life lesson. The lesson is... When Life gives you lemons, chuck them back at him.

Everyone's, except Kyouya, thoughts: What the Hell does that have to do with anything?!

Waffle: Okay...? Anyway we've got to hurry to end the show! No interuptions!

Hikaru: But!-

Waffle: No!

Hikaru: But, I gotta-

Waffle: No~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!

Hikaru: *yells* But I gotta take a dunk!

Everyone, even Kyouya!:...................................

Waffle: Go. And never ever, EVER, _EVER~_ yell that again!

Hikaru: *Hurries out*

Waffle:

4. Haruhi, which of the hosts do you like best? *Meanwhile Hikaru comes in looking relieved... too relieved. It was probably a big one.*

Haruhi: Well, Tamaki's a biatch, Kyouya's even more of a biatch, Mori's too quiet, Honey's too... cute and being... Honey. Hikaru's... don't get me started. So, I'm left with Kaoru. He's better than everyone so, yeah, Kaoru.

Everyone: So blunt...

Waffle: Anyway...

5. Everyone, what would you do if Kyouya was the Prince, instead of Tamaki?

Everyone, except Kyouya and Tamaki: *Goes on to a wild rampage how it would be so weird and awkward*

Waffle: Quiet! Now you know... Haruhi, if Kyouya's Tamaki, he's your love interest.

Haruhi: *Runs away to the dressing rooms*

Everyone hears gacking, moans, and the sound of a chunky liquid hitting the floor.

Waffle: Poor Haru.

6...*starts laughing hysterically, and does a ROTFLMAO.(aka Rolling On The Floor Laughing My A$$ Off.)* Nitro! You're a classic.

Nitro: I do my best! *looking proud in Hikaru's lap*

Waffle: *Notices this, and looks at Kaoru and he returns the stare. They both blush and look away*

Anyway, 6. Tama-king has to sing Barbie girl (c), to the audience. Which is us.

*Goes to the auditorium and Tamaki starts singing.*

_{Tamaki's part is in italics}_

{Ken's part is in regular writing}

Hi Barbie

_Hi Ken_

Do you wanna go for a ride?

_Sure Ken_

Jump In...

(Chorus)

_I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world_  
_Life in plastic, it's fantastic._  
_you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere._  
_Imagination, life is your creation._

Come on Barbie, let's go party!

_I'm a blond girl, in a fantasy world,  
Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your darling.  
You are my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamoring thing,  
kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky._

You can touch, you can play, if you say "I'm always  
yours"  
uu-oohuh..

(Chorus)

Come on Barbie, let's go party! 4 times

_Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please,  
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees.  
Come jump in, be my friend, let us do it again,  
hit the town, fool around, let´s go party_

You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I´m always  
yours"  
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I´m always  
yours"

Come on Barbie, let´s go party!  
(4 times)

(2x Chorus)

Come on Barbie, let´s go party!  
(4 times)

_Oh, I'm having so much fun!_  
Well, Barbie, we're just getting started.  
_Oh, I love you Ken._

Waffle: Wow... You were... _too _into character.

Everyone: *nods*

Waffle: Finally, a dare from an anonymous viewer! From Lyrik C.:

Morinozuka-san, how come you're so silent? Is it because you don't have anything to say in general?

Mori: Ah.

Waffle: Translation, Honey-sempai?

Honey: Takashi is saying that yes, he doesn't have much to say in general. From day 1, no one really gave him difficult questions that he had to answer without a "ah," or a nod, maybe a "yes." He's said it too much he can't really say anything else much. So, everyone relies on me for an explanation.

Waffle: Wow, that much with just one "Ah......"

Well, I have one more dare.

Nitro: Huh, I thought that was the last one.

Waffle: This one's from me... *smiles evilly at Tamaki* Ohhh, Tama...

*Tamaki runs like it's his life*

Waffle: *tackles him to the ground*

Last Dare: Tamaki has to sing Justin Bieber's "Baby."

Tamaki: No~!

Waffle: *drools* I like me the Justin!

Tamaki sings Baby and Waffle falls asleep at the lyrics of, "Nobody could compare to mah baby or ever come between us or ever come above."

Waffle woke up on Kaoru's lap.

Waffle: I-I- I uh! *gets kissed by Kaoru* (smiles)

Okay! By bye! Again review! This fan-fic won't be alive if you don't! Bye!

Everyone: Bye!

xxxxx00xxxxx

After Show:

Renge: Man, I didn't get any dares!

Ranka: Join the club, gurllllllllllllllllllll!

Nekozawa: Curses!

Belzelnoff: ...

Kyouya: I can't believe I didn't get any dares. Meh. I'll get the cops on their a$$.

* * *

**Me: Come on... These people need your votes. Now get your fat a$$ eating Doritos off the Goddamned couch!**

**Yeah! I went there. Yeah, I'm talking to you fatty. *points to an overly-obese child eating chips***

**Obese Child: Hey, I'm eating hot Cheetos with onions and ranch dressing with a chocolate shake! No Doritos anywhere.**

**Me: Your still a fat-a$$.**

**Obese Child: ...**

**Wooh! So long! It's long cause my keyboard started working, yay! Thanks who crossed your fingers for me, if you didn't... f#ck you. JK! Bye!  
**


	3. Round 2!

**Questioning Hosts Round 2!**

Waffle: Yes, finally! We have a second round thanks to kyouyaootooriandharuhiforever! Hope I spelled your name right... Well, anyway! To make this chapter a little longer than the last, let us have our introductions for you guys who forgot! And let us begin!

Tamaki: Hello, fair maidens. *winks adorably, kind of...* My name is-

Nitro: That's not important! Moving on!

Tamaki: *goes to EMO corner*

Kyouya: *glasses start gleaming* Kyouya Ootori.

Waffle and Nitro: Watch out, he'll blackmail you...

Hikaru and Kaoru: Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin!

Honey/Hunny-sempai: Mitsukuni Haninozuka, but please call me Honey!

Mori: ...Mori...

Haruhi: Haruhi Fujioka.

Nitro: Nitrogirl! Your beautiful co-host!

Waffle: *gets in front of Nitrogirl* Waffle, your even beautifuler host! And now, let us start the show! First dare:

From kyouyaootooriandharuhi, (who was nice enough to review and spend her time writing all these dares/questions *looks at the audience, glares*)

Kyouya: I have a fan, eh?

Waffle: *cough, cough* As I was saying before you rudely interrupted... Let's start easy, To Nekozawa-sempai!

Nekozawa: Yes! Finally! A dare/question!

Waffle: You have to sing _I'm Walking on Sunshine _with your wig and cape off!

Nekozawa: *runs toward doors in escape*

Waffle: Hold him back Hitachiins!

Hitachiin Twins: *carry him through his struggling and tie him up to the ceiling*

Waffle: I only said get him, not tie him...

Hitachiin Twins: *smile evilly* We know!

Waffle: So, now I will take your wig and cape off! *gets a tall ladder and takes wig and cape off* Oh my Goshhhhhhhhhh!

Everyone: *gapes at him*

Waffle and Nitro: He actually looks hot!

Waffle: Well, now start the music Nitro!

Nitro: Yes mam! *turns on music*

Waffle: *gives Nekozawa a mike* Sing fo your life boy sing! *threatening him with a club, much like Excalibog from Dokuro-chan*

Nekozawa: *is let down from ceiling* Okay... *sighs*

I used to think maybe you love me, now baby I'm sure

And I just cant wait till the day, when you knock on my door

Now every time I go for the mail box, gotta hold myself down

'cause I just cant wait till you write me, you're coming around

[Chorus:]

I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh)

I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh)

I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh)

And don't it feel good (HEY!) Alright now

And don't it feel good (HEY!) Alright now

All right now yeah! (HEY!)

I used to think maybe you love me, I know that it's true

And I don't wanna spend all of my life just waiting for you (just waiting for you)

Now I don't want you back for the weekend, not back for a day, no, no, no

Baby I just want you back and I want you to stay

[Chorus]

Walking on sunshine

Walking on sunshine

I feel the love, I feel the love, I feel the love that's really real

I feel the love, I feel the love, I feel the love that's really real

[Chorus till end]

Everyone except Kyouya and Mori: *face is red from holding in laughter*

Waffle: Okay, everyone release yourselves.

Everyone: *laughing crazily*

Twins: *a rotflmao, consult round 1*

Waffle: Okay, recollect yourselves, Nekozawa that all there is for you. *looks at dare card again* Oh my Gawd... kyooyaootooriandharuhiforever said the lights could be off...

Nekozawa: What? *runs away screaming "Bloody murder!"

Waffle: Okay here's comes Johnny!

Nitro: Who's Johnny?

Waffle: *smacks her upside the head* That means this one is a hard one!

Nitro: ... I knew that!

Waffle: Why'd you ask?

Nitro: *takes card* I'll read this! Okay, again from kyouyaootooriandharuhiforever. *breathes* That's a mouthfull... These two are directed at Kyouya!

Everyone: Awww...

Waffle: Y'all should be thankful! Someone, like me, may have you do something crazy! Like jump off a cliff! *whispers to audience* Hurry! Write that down!

Nitro: So Kyouya *signals for the twins to blockade the door*, what is in your notebook?

Kyouya: That, is confidential and classified.

Waffle: *steals notebook*

Kyouya: Hey! *tries to tackle me*

Kaoru: Oh no you don't! *tackles Kyouya*

Waffle: *blushes* O-okay... page 1, Dear diary- *cut off by everyone's laughter even Mori*

Waffle: Again, dear diary- *pauses because of what is ahead* Haruhi, get out!

Haruhi: W-why?

Waffle: Get out!

Haruhi: *runs away in confusion*

Waffle: Now, I read on. There is only 100 Yen, which I think is 10 cents in US currency... (I don't know how to calculate Yen) left to Haruhi's debt. It will be sad to see her go, because of my feelings for her. I love Haruh- *is tackled by Kyouya* *notebook goes flying into a random fireplace*

Kyouya: Not the diary! *coughs and recollects himself* I mean, not the notebook!

Nitro: Moving on. Next directed to Kyouya! Haruhi, you are allowed back in. *sees Haruhi enter* Okay, Kyouya, where and who is your mother? She isn't mentioned anywhere...

Kyouya: *now current resident of EMO corner*

Tamaki: Hey! Get outta my house!

Waffle and Nitro: *shrug* Let us just say she died! Okay bye!

**

* * *

**

**Yes, Kyouya was a LOT OOC, but hey. That makes it fun, to picture our favorite characters crying in humiliation... Also, it a whole lotta entertainment! Please send more dares, I waited months and months for only three? Oh please, please review! I need this job! It is the only job I have! Please, please! Also, let us give a moment of silence to remember this awesome writer, Kyouyaootooriandharuhiforever...**

**And... done. Thanks kyouyaootooriandharuhiforever! *breathes* Nitro was right, it is a mouthful...**

**No Dare Group. Population: 8**

Kaoru, Hikaru, Tamaki, Honey/Hunny, Haruhi, Ranka, Renge: No dares... TT_TT

Mori: Ah.

Everyone: Will you shut up!

**Yes, help these losers by donating a cure to their No-dares-itis, by giving them a dare. Help them, for the children! Please, reconsider closing the fan-fiction, or going to another fan-fiction to review it and not me. **

**Sneak-peek of Round 3: **

Waffle: *gasps* Not you! We have one new person to dare! Bossa Nova-kun!

Kasanoda: KASANODA, DAMNIT!

**... Okay bye!**

**xoxo~ Waffle/Cuwa.**


	4. Round 3!

**Questioning Hosts Round 3!**

Waffle: Yay, welcome to round 3 of 'Questioning Hosts!' (looks around) (gasps) Not you! We have a new dare person! Say hello to Bossa Nova!

Kasanoda: IT'S KASANODA DAMNIT!

Waffle: ... Now time for our dares/questions! First from SarahELupin!

For everyone: What do you look for in a soulmate?

Tamaki: Someone who is refined, graceful, can be humorous sometimes, loves fancy tun-

Nitro: Next! (watches Tama go to corner of woe and chuckles evilly)

Honey: Someone who loves to joke around and eat cake!

Mori: Someone... quiet...

Everyone: (sweatdrops)

Haruhi: Someone not Tamaki or Hikaru.

Tamaki and Hikaru: (arrows go through them saying, "You just got REJECTED!")

Kyouya: Someone who shares the same greed of money I do.

Kaoru: Someone that's energetic and unpredictable.

Waffle: She also added *cough, cough* someone your not related to*cough*

Kao: (Thinking: _I meant her though... See? Unpredictable._) (sweatdrops)

Hikaru: Well, someone that is Haruhi-

Nitro: (slaps Hikaru)

Hikaru: I- I mean someone that's like Nitro!

Bossa- Kasanoda: ... Someone that's funny and is like one of those Moe-Moe girls...

Nitro: Someone that's really funny, and confused with love, and someone who I just slapped...

Everyone: (looks at Waffle)

Waffle: What?

Nitro: Say your dare bumblebinsnakin!

Waffle: What the heck is a- just, nevermind... Someone that's kinda like a side character, someone who makes me smile... (whispers) Someone who is a red-head...

Nitro: What?

Waffle: N-nothing! Anyway, let's go to our next dare person! Fom KandHforever, who was formely kyouyaootooriandharuhiforver, sends a dare to Hikaru!

(reads it and blushes) Haruhi get out!

Haruhi: ... again?

Waffle: Okay, Hikaru, have you had any innopropiate dreams about Haruhi?

Hikaru: Y-yes...

Waffle: What about- Kaoru get out!

Kaoru: (leaves while thinking: _When Hulk angry, Hulk smash._)

Waffle: What about Kao-chan?

Hikaru: Y-N-Y-es... It was-

Waffle: (pushes him to the ground) I don't wanna hear that!

Okay again from KandHforever! To Kyouya:

Kyouya: Oh god...

Waffle: Please wear a bunny suit. She says wear a bunny suit, much like the one Tamaki and Hikaru were fantasizing about Haruhi. (watches Haru and Kao come in)

Kyouya: Might as well, no sense in running. (sighs)

*Seven Minutes Later*

Kyouya: (comes out in bunny suit)

Everyone: (trying to keep in laughter)

Kyouya: Laugh and I get the cops on your ass. (glares)

Nitro: Okay since I don't get enough screen time, -glares at Waffle- I'll be doing this last one. Last one for the show and KandHforever.

For Hika: Dye your hair Tamaki like blonde. (lies for some amusement) And keep it that way for 2 more rounds.

Hikaru: (dyes his hair) TT - TT I feel like a pervert, much like Tamaki

Waffle and Nitro: Oh shut up! You were always a perv! If anyone's a perv on this show it's you!

Waffle: And th-

Nitro: Since I don't get enough screentime- glares at Waffle- I will do the closing.

Waffle: Okay woman, I get it!

Nitro: That's it folks, and we're adding a new feature! You get to dare me and Waffle! So review!

Kyouya: And make it horrible!

Nitro: (snickers) You don't look too convincing in that bunny suit Kyouya!

Everyone except Mori and Kyouya: (doing a ROTFLMAO; consult round 1)

Waffle: Okay! Bye review!

**Yes, got this finished! I'm on a roll! Also, I will be updating my S.H.P. only on this account! Bye!**

**No-Daresville Population: 3**

**Renge, Ranka, Nekozawa: No dares... TT-TT**

**Waffle: (smirks) Oh y'all got dares, I just didn't give them to you!**

**Everyone: TT_TT Why!**

**Waffle: I don't think SarahELupin meant everyone EVERYONE, just those that are important.**

**...Bye!**

**This was only 601 words. Y'all need to review to make it longer! **

**xoxo~ Waffle/Cuwa**


End file.
